Hey Y’all!!!! Today I’m posting on behalf of a guest blogger. She’s awesome because she’s, of course, my sister. You know the working out ice cream sister from Everybody Wants You Naked
Olivia McNair, a 30-something Queen in her own right. She’s an amazing teacher (literally she’s a nerd who teaches Polymer Science at the University of Southern Mississippi). She’s an amazing friend and most of all she has an amazing heart. There isn’t a person who has met her and hasn’t liked her (She gets that from me, btw, I may be younger but I had to teach her lol). I hope you guys enjoy her post and hopefully, she’ll grace up with another post.
Til Death Do Us Part
Recently my sister helped me plan an absolutely fabulous 10-year anniversary celebration. When I think about this event, my mind immediately goes to the moment I shared the idea with my Great Aunt (And I know right now that same sister is grinning from ear to ear because she could care less about other people’s opinions). She (my great aunt) looked puzzled. Then after a long awkward pause, she mentioned that she and her husband renewed their vows at 25 and 50 years as they are now married for 60. She proceeded to tell stories from times past but my heart was forever etched in her response. Did she not believe 10 years together is worthy of celebration? What in her heart was hesitant about the thought? Or cringed at the idea of a celebration of love. Not a funeral. Not a graduation. Not a forced family reunion. But a pure celebration of love and a time to recommit to God the bond between a husband and a wife. And then I thought about it a bit more (because that is just what I tend to do) and I actually began to feel sorry for her. What was marriage like for her after 10 years? How was she managing life after 10 years? And did it really take 25 to realize she would be willing to do it all over again?
I know we are not guaranteed a life of happy days. Trust me I have seen my share of grey days. There were times when my marriage was one gust away from inexistence. Somehow we came through that. I am truly thankful we did. I wanted the world to know that marriage is not easy but it is manageable and sometimes even fun. The biggest obstacle in marriage hit me when I realized marriage can be a duty. MY GOD! WHAT A DUTY! How married people have time to get into anything else behooves me. There is enough to do. Ok, so I’ve diverted a bit. Back to the point. Why not celebrate 10 years? If I have learned nothing else in my marriage, I have learned that not even the next second is promised and yesterday might not look anything like tomorrow. We should take the time to celebrate and live in the moment. Right now is a good moment.
My great aunt might not understand the point of celebration. How many good moments had she had? After having many conversations with her throughout the years I am certain she grew up feeling unloved and entered into a marriage plagued by hard labor, stress, and death (I know this probably sounds cruel, but I have a way of saying what needs to be said). That might stop anyone from wanting to celebrate. That is exactly why I wanted this event to happen.
My husband’s children were 5 and 6 when my husband and I started dating. They are now 18 and 19 and they are just as much mine as DNA could make them. Before they dispersed and got busy living their lives, I wanted to show them what marriage really meant. What love looks like. I wanted to show them how love can be sustained over long periods of time. I had good examples and I wanted them to have good examples too. My son (and my sister’s arch nemesis) who is now 5, had all the wedding party fun and ate all the wedding party food. My daughter, despite her resistance at times being the tween she is, needs to see how a man should love a woman lest she enters a less than loving relationship. Her dad loves God, he loves her, he loves me and he loves himself.
Love, the greatest gift we have to give. On vow renewal day, exactly 10 years after we first said ‘I do,’ my heart exploded with happiness all over again, but this time from a deeper place. My God has given me a task and I plan to fulfill my purpose. Through love. I hope to continue to make the world a better place. I plan to change lives. I plan to be the wife God has called me to be. Till. Death. Do. Us. Part.